


Not South Park Kids

by KarmaLia



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), F/F, F/M, Full House au..kinda, M/M, Multi, New Cooler Gang, This isn't South Park, gaaaayyyyyy, like super gay, lots of cussing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-05-01 02:22:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14510430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarmaLia/pseuds/KarmaLia
Summary: “We are moving.”No sooner had the words left my father’s mouth, my body forced myself to move into a standing position. My eyes wide, and my mouth was agape."What?"-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Ike, Firkle, Ruby and Karen were going to be the new South Park gang after all the original kids are leaving for college. Were being the big term. Denver has some other plans for them.





	1. The News

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This will be my first chapter of a hopefully long fic. I'll be posting some of my art of these scene when I'm not extremely lazy. And I will try to update as often as I can! :3

The Tucker’s Household- Tricia “Ruby” Tucker

“We are moving.”

No sooner had the words left my father’s mouth, my body forced myself to move into a standing position. My eyes wide, and my mouth was agape.  
My mother looked indifferent to this whole situation. She probably already knew or didn’t care or most likely both. My brother, Craig, look slightly more surprised than our parents. His left eyebrow was lifted, his eyes held a bit of confusion. But it doesn’t really affect him as much as me, seeing as he was already leaving South Park for Denver with his boyfriend.

“What.”

  
I said it not as a question, but more of a ‘ _are you fucking shitting me right now_ ’ kind of deal. But knowing my father, he was going to take what I said literally.

  
“We are moving to Detroit.”

I haven’t heard of any Detroit cities in Colorado. Or any state near us for that matter. The pause of pregnant silence swept through the dining table. Before Craig broke the ice with his own chilling statement.

“Isn’t that in Michigan?”

Oh, _fuck NO_. There was absolutely no way I am moving to god damn Michigan state. There better be a fucking town in Colorado that stole the damn name. Yet the look in my father’s eyes held a different answer than what I am hoping for. And his word confirmed my worst nightmare.

“Yes.”

That fucking small word ringed in my ears, and just echo throughout my head. This was my death sentence, my omen of bad luck for every time I flipped someone off when I probably shouldn’t. And while it registered in my mind that ‘ _yes we are leaving this dumb mountain town that you have learned to love as home_ ,’ the meaning didn’t really hit me until almost a minute had past.

I slammed my hands flat on the dining table. My brother seemed to be the only one who held any kind of symphony for me. But also looked as if he knew what what was coming next, as his hand were reaching for his ears. While I just shouted,

“WHAT THE FUCK!?”

I leaned towards my father, trying and failing to intimidate the old man. My mother had carried on eating, unperturbed by my outburst. Thomas Tucker, my dear asshole father, looked as if he could give a rats ass about my dilma.

“My job is taking me over there as well as your mother. We will be making three times as much over there than in South Park. So we are moving. End of discussion.”

End of discussion?! _Are you kidding me_? My whole life is going to change because of this and there is absolutely no way to change this.  
I scan my family’s faces. My father’s apathetic stature. My mother’s inattentive gaze. And my brother, the only one who seemed to know what was going to happen next. If he would say anything, he would call this my mega tantrum. And boy, was my family going to get one.

“WHAT ABOUT MY SCHOOL? AND ALL MY FRIENDS IN SOUTH PARK! LIKE IKE AND FIRKLE...and...and Karen…?”

My voice was dying in my throat the more I went on. But I knew I couldn’t start tearing up in front of them. After all Tuckers don’t cry. I’m still a Tucker.

“You’ll go to a new school and get new friends. Deal with it.”

My breathing was starting slow down into puffs. _Tuckers don’t cry. Tuckers don’t cry. But FUCK if we don’t get angry_. And so I use the only emotion I’m allowed at this household. I started to scream. And when my vocal chords were beginning to feel sore, I started screaming _louder_.

“I FUCKING HATE YOU!”

I threw middle fingers at both my parents. Sparing my brother for the sole reason that if he wasn’t already leaving he would be forced to come with us.  
Once I was satisfied throwing the bird at the heads of the family, I stomped every inch of the way to my room. Slamming my door back into its door frame.

The lull of the room was deafening.

The room was still.

The room was quiet.

I pushed my back onto the door and then slide down until I was sitting at the bottom of the floor. Touching my face and feeling the wet intruders escaping when they weren’t supposed to. When they weren’t allowed.

Time seem to tick by so slowly. Twenty minutes must have passed. Maybe more. I didn’t really care all that much to count.  
Nothing but silence. Until a steady knock hit the door.

“Hey Ruby. Are you okay?”

The voice was rich and smooth, not like my father’s. And in no such way as high pitched and feminine like mother’s. It helped Craig a little, for the fact that his voice lost its nasally tone after puberty. The voice was also calling me, Ruby. A nickname both my parents had a distaste for. Seeing as ‘ _Tricia is the name you were given and it will be the name you will use. You aren’t shorting anything so there is no point_.’ My brother still calls me that when my parents weren’t listening.

“What do you think?”

While I know I shouldn’t be rude to the only other family member who gave a damn about me, I was already exhausted from the fight from earlier that I gave no fucks.

“Okay, yeah, that was a stupid question.”

I mumbled slightly under my breath a ‘ _you got that right_.’

“Look, I know this doesn’t mean as much cause I’m saying but I’m sorry, Ruby.”

No sooner than he said that, the dam in my eyes were broken. The flood gates were released and I was doing muted sobs. _It wasn’t fair. IT wasn’t FAIR_. He got his childhood with his best friends. With his amazing boyfriend. And I’m going to get nothing.

“I don’t want to leave…I don’t want to leave them.”

I lost every bit of will to continue speaking, going softer and softer for every single word. It was as if I ran a marathon but I was still going.

“I know Ruby. Listen, if you need to talk. Well...I’m here for you I guess.”

“Why do you suddenly care?”

I don’t know when I got the urge to say it. But I did. And now, its out in the open.

“I always care, Ruby. I may not always be the best at showing it. But I do care about you.”

And with that he left my door, with light footsteps making his way to his own room. Now I’m alone again. With my own thoughts. With my own tears. And my own heartbreak.

The Smith’s Residency- Georgie “Firkle” Smith

“So next school year, you are going to Denver Academy for Young Geniuses.”

My so called mother should be thankful that I don’t have a knife or fork in my hand because at the moment I felt like I really need to stab something. All I had in my hand was a spoon for my bland cereal. Which I suppose could work in some situations.

I’m already being left alone by my ‘original’ non conformist group, since they all are going to college for Demon Casting and Satan worshiping. Now, to leave this kind of not conforming group that I was finally getting use to for a very conformist private school. That was out of the question.

“No.”

The bitch just stared at me, with her blank perfect stare. My traditionalist father had put down his newspaper after my sharp no.

“Georgie dear. We just think it will be a great opportunity for you. Seeing as your older friends are leaving anyway, we thought this would be a great way to expand your mind in education.”

I stared at the skank right into her perfectly circular green eyes. My willpower to not slap a bitch was diminishing as well as my patients. She is lucky she gave birth to me otherwise she would be sorry for calling me ‘ _Georgie_ ’ instead of Firkle.

_Expand my mind, my ass_. I may have been able to skip a grade with my friend Ike, but I was not a genius if put anywhere that wasn’t South Park. And despite the weird fucking shit that goes on in this city, I like this place. It doesn’t completely conform to what a good mountain town should be even though its citizen have tried.

“I’m not going to Denver, to expand my mind. Like it would actually will help, I’m only smart here because majority of South Park is dumb as rocks.”

Well everyone who wasn’t Ike. Tricia, or Ruby as she has been called, can be a bit oblivious to some common sense otherwise she was sharp witted as a knife. And as much as I love Karen as a person, she is the most innocent child in all of South Park. She is naive to almost everything. I mean she was going to friend some Vamp kids if it wasn’t for Henretta.

My statement seemed to break her fake facade, her eyes twitch and mouth edging closer to a frown. She no longer looked like the perfect wife, like a perfect _mother_ by any means.

“Alright Georgie. You want to know the truth?”

As if my answer couldn’t have been more obvious than that.

“Yes, _mother_ , I would like to know.”

She sat up straighter. Patting her blonde long hair down so there wouldn’t be any flybys.

“South Park has always been filled with crazies. And since your original crazy group is going to be completely gone, this will be nice way to change you into a normal child. The new friends you made now, are definitely much better than your old ones for sure. But Georgie darling, South Park will change them in a split of a second.”

She kept talking as if it was the town itself, and not the people that made it up, as a force of insanity. Ike, Karen and Ruby are probably the most normal people that are in this city and she wants me to leave them. She continued on, as if she didn’t fucking realize what she was saying.

“Now I’m not going to have _my son_ become known as a batty lunatic from the South Park, Colorado. No sir. My son is not going to be a South Park kid. And so you are going to Denver, where no one will ever associate you with this place.”

I was ready to retailerate. I’m already am a South Park Kid. I was born here. I was raised here for almost twelve years. Another six to seven years of being in this damned mountain town won’t change anything. I’m always going to be known as the kindergarten goth. When I haven’t been in kindergarten for what seems like a millennia.

My mother, the bitch that she is, had put on her false smile back into place. While I could still trace a slashing smirk behind it. Her make-up smeared more perfect than she will ever be.

“Georgie dear. You are still under my roof. And you will under my care for a good five years or more. Which means you _don’t_ have choice in the matter. You _will_ be going to that private school. And you _will_ no longer be a South Park kid.”

Her false smile flashed her pearly whites. It was still closed enough that you couldn’t see the sharp points of my mothers teeth. She could be scarier than any demon that I’ll ever face. She might be the only one that I don’t ever want to summon.

I can’t do much with her last statement meaning that I won’t be able to escape this. I was set for my doom from the very start.

I grabbed my now very soggy cereal and dumped it down the sink. _Georgie_ always had to clean after himself or else, the monsters that raise him would give both him and me hell.

Speaking of the devil as she turn towards me, yet she never peeled her eyes off the television’s news.

“Thank you, Georgie, for putting the dishes away. You know I _hate_ that.”

I trudge to my room but not without muttering,

‘ _My name is Firkle_.’

The McCormick’s House- Karen McCormick

The house was dark again. Power for the lights must have went out; someone must have not paid the bills. I’m not afraid as the previous times. The lights will turn back on. Kenny always manages to get the power back on and the bill paid.

My dad wasn’t the breadwinner in the family, by any means. While my mother has tried her best, it wasn’t easy for her to get a job. Not when she had to take care three kids, and a overly lazy husband. For her to do all that by herself would be exhausting. Which is why my best friend in the whole wide world, who is also my big brother, is the breadwinner of the family.

Kevin has problems. I never asked what kind of problems because that would be rude of me ask that of my brother. And I am still to young to work to help my family.  
I hug my orange stuff bunny that big brother’s friend Butters gave me. I’m not alone.

_Everything is going to be alright. I’m going to be alright. Kenny will make things better. Kenny will-’_

“Karen?”

My brother’s voice rang like a sweet bell in the dark. Although I couldn’t see him, I felt comfort that he was near. Its nice that his new orange jacket from Butters didn’t muffle his voice.

A bright light splashed against the dark. My eyes adjusted enough for me to see that Kenny was holding a flashlight.

I hopped towards him. Trying my darndest not to trip. Once I reached my destination to the almost six foot man, I began to wrap my arms around his middle. I started to mumble into shirt, very much like he did in his elementary years.

“What was that Karen? I don’t think I can hear your sweet voice through my shirt.”

I giggled against his middle. My head turned slightly to my left, so that my right cheek was still on my brother’s tummy.

“When is the lights coming back on? _I still don’t really like the dark that much_.”

The dark was consistently too much to handle. There was a theory that if one your senses is cut off the other senses get stronger. I believe it to be true. I hear the yelling more often than not. Booze fills the air that I breathe, and on warm days with my window open, smoke from the outside. I can almost taste both of them in my mouth despite never smoking or drinking before. I feel the spiders and rat vibrating through the walls or on my sheets or on me.

I don’t like the dark but only when I’m alone. Kenny never failed to make all the bad things go away.

The man, himself, sighed after my question.

“Don’t worry Kare bear, the lights are going to be coming back in an hour or so. But until then, I have an important _thing_ I have to discuss with the royal knight Karen the Brave.”

My face lit up after he said that. I love Kenny’s nicknames, he gives to me. Kenny guides me back to my bed. He starts to braid my back to brown hair into a singular ponytail in the back as he starts to report the very important _thing_.

“So, my brave knight. I know that things have been rough in the kingdom. Especially since I will be stepping down from rulership.”

A twitch of an edge of my face tries to frown, but I do my best to edge it up. The kingdom is our home, and I never realize that maybe Kenny might want to go to college or leave this town behind. It was foolish of me to think he wouldn’t. My brother deserves a better life than what our parents had given us. I am slightly relieved Kenny can’t see my face as he weaves through my hair.

Nevertheless, Kenny continued forward with his part of the conversation.

“And because I’m now old enough to leave, I want to take you with me.”

My eyes open up completely. Sitting completely up straight, I started to blink slowly. Did he want me to leave this place with him? I mean, I do want to leave this house. Sorry, mom.

“Of course I want to go with you, big bro.”

Kenny smiled, it was light and also filled with sympathy. I didn’t understand why.

“What’s wrong big bro?”

He signed, then got off the bed. My braid was finished, swing to the center of my back. He turned his body back to me; eyes moving spastically, trying to look everywhere but at me.

“Well, Karen, umm...how do I say this? We aren’t staying here. Karen, this place doesn’t have the best apartment prices or the best jobs. So basically...Karen, we are leaving South Park.”

I tried gulping air, but it doesn’t feel like it was going through the correct tubes. My eyebrows furrowed together in shock. _What about my friends?_

Had this been a couple years ago, I would have jumped aboard the bus to anywhere but here. But then I met my first non-brother friend, Firkle. Introducing me to Ike. And I finally found a friend around my age, Ruby was truly one of my best friend. I don’t know if I could leave them.

“What about my friends?”

I can see the pain and regret in Kenny even though it’s dark. He doesn’t want to ruin my newly found friendships but he doesn’t want me to stay here. This house isn’t good for raising children. One of them had to do everything himself and the other had become every bad aspect of his father. While I got lucky and got Kenny, who not only manages to _survive_ but also protect me. I know its a gruelling task with how broken our family was. I also know that Kenny doesn’t want me to be alone in this _place_. So I know what I have to do, what I have to say.

“Alright. I’ll go.”

Kenny just smiled. Even though I don’t really want to, I must have made the right choice. _Right_?


	2. The Convo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short Chapter. Well, for me at least.

South Park’s Park- Ike Broflovski

 

“Hey guys, what’s up?”

 

I happen to be the last one at the playground at the park. It doesn’t seem like they beat me by much seeing as none of them have started a conversation on really obscure topics. Such as ‘ _ Is a lobster a sea scorpion? _ ’ or ‘ _ This is why black is the best color and why orange is fucking not the new black. _ ’

 

Actually now that I really look at them. They all seem kind of  _ somber _ . Karen was playing with a piece of grass. Firkle had one ear phone on blasting ‘I’m Not Okay (I promise)’ by MCR. And Ruby’s face has faded...tear streaks? Okay, well this isn’t good.

 

“Okay, why do you all look like you killed a puppy?”

 

They all turn to face me. All of them seem very uncomfortable and unable to talk. Until finally Ruby cracked and open up her mouth to talk. 

 

“So I have some bad news…”

 

Never good. Tricia is notorious for having a two sided coin of bad news. This isn’t so bad like my brother and his boyfriend says that they can’t make a baby. And also fuck this is the worse, such as the whole school is on fire and literal skeletons are starting a war on South Park.

 

“That doesn’t sound good.”

 

What can I say, I have a way with words. Ruby just heaved in a large gulp of breath and then spit out her words.

 

“I’m moving.”

 

Oh, ok there’s no fire or wars. So that’s good and dandy...motherfucker did she just say...

 

“...what...what the fuck?”

 

I’m a bit speechless. No actually, I was more than speechless. I am outraged, conflicted, overwhelmed with sadness. This is definitely a ‘fuck this is the worse’ situation. Firkle then turn towards Ruby.

 

“Oh, you’re moving too?”

 

His eyes flicker towards his phone after he says this.

 

“Yeah, wait..what do you mean by too.”

 

Ruby stared Firkle dead in the eye. But that was not important. What is important is what I have to day in this matter.

 

“No, better question. What do you two mean by  _ moving _ ?”

 

Because no way is two out of my three very best friends are leaving me forever.

 

“I’m fucking moving to Detroit! That’s what I mean by  _ moving _ , Ike.”

 

Oh fuck.

 

“My asshole birth givers decided that I’m going to Denver’s boarding private school. Against my will.”

 

Double fuck.

 

“Isn’t that where your brother is going, Ruby?”

 

Karen finally stood up, interjecting her own insight to the conversation. This must meant she was listening. Which means she knows that our two friends are basically leaving us for GOOD!

 

“Well, yeah.”

 

Ruby said that with such ease, I could almost sense that we were about to go off topic. But not on my watch. Not when these bastards decided to skip town away from all the rest of us lunatics.

 

“Oh, fuck. You both are leaving me and Karen.  _ How could you do this to us?  _ Rupee, I thought you loved us. Firkle, I thought you hated prissy rich kids. And you both are leaving us.”

 

Ruby glared slightly at the nickname I gave her nickname. But her glare soften when I mention that she loved both me and Karen. Firkle was just looking as distraught for even thinking of going where his mortal enemies are.

 

“I didn’t fucking want to go!”

 

“Well, like fuck I want to go to a pussy conformist school!”

 

They both screeched at me at the same time. It was nerve wracking. Karen herself didn’t seem like she wanted in on the conversation. But in a couple seconds she sighed then turn to face me. Chocolate eyes met my blue. Her eyes held sorrow and dread.

 

“And actually, Ike, Kenny says that him and I are leaving to a different city. Somewhere cheaper where there is alot of jobs he can get.”

 

Her hand immediately start playing with her lengthy sleeves. A sign that she was in distress from the current situation. And also the fact her sleeves were way too long for her.

 

I then start to realize the position I’m in.

 

“Wait! Does that mean all of you are leaving me.”

 

They all just nod at me.

 

“You going to leave me with...with...with FILMORE!”

 

No, not Filmore. He is like a giant toddler. I don’t want to hang around him for the rest of my life. Everyone else in our grade loves him and wants to talk to him. I won’t be able to talk with anyone without him fiddling into the conversation.

 

“Oh come on, you big pussy. It won’t be that bad for you.”

 

Firkle gave no shits about Filmore. Mostly cause Filmore leaves him alone. Another reason to befriend Firkle and curse that he is stranding me here.

 

“YES IT IS! The only sensible and smart people in this fucking town is leaving me. And I’m going to be stuck with FILMORE FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!”

 

This is the absolute worst.

 

“Ike, don’t be rude. Filmore isn’t that bad.”

 

Speak for yourself. He doesn’t stalk you.  _ Which I promise he does to me, Rupee _ .

 

“Karen, I swear I saw him stick a crayon up his nose in first grade.”

 

It was gross. I wish I could unsee it. Probably why he wasn’t the brightest in school, for 

all the crayons in his brain. Even though I personally don’t think that it is scientifically accurate.

 

“That was years ago, Ike.”

 

Trust Karen to see the best in people.

 

“Yeah, get over it.”

 

Ruby just rolled her eyes at me. Jokes on her, she will forever be known as Rupee to me. Annnnndddddd we went off topic. Usual.

 

“This is going to be the worst rest of my life ever.”

 

Cause it was.

 

“Stop pouting, you little shit. You don’t think it’s going to be bad for us too. Well, except for Karen.”

 

Firkle approached Karen, once he stated that. And I guess I also agree with the fact that none of us are going to feel whole without the others there.

 

“You deserve a better home than the one you currently have.”

 

He was right. Karen lived in a shitty home that was undeserving of her. She was 

golden angel. A splash of color on a rather gross brown pallet painting.

 

“Here, here.”

 

Rupee and I were in sync saying those words. If there was anything the three of us agree on, it would be how much love Karen should have. Which is a lot more than she has 

right now.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Humble as always.

 

“And well...whatever happens, at least I know we’ll always have eachothers backs. Even if we are apart.”

 

And though we all can agree with her, none of us were going to like that we were being separated to different places. Fuck, if we don’t try to swindle our way around this.

  
  



	3. Discuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Tweak Bros coffee store has a couple of customers and an interesting discussion to converse.

Tweek Bros Coffee- Tweek Tweak

 

It was a normal kind of day in South Park. Or at least as normal as South Park can get anyway. The bell had chimed and a familiar redhead had walked toward me and my counter. Luckily, Kyle was always getting the same frappuccino so it shouldn’t be a struggle to make.

 

“The usual?”

 

The shop was sparse. Craig was looking down at his hands at the closest table to the register. Kenny lottering at the far right table, he hasn’t bought anything and I doubt he will. Kyle, the only person at the store at the moment who is a paying customer, is nervously nodding to me and is reaching for his wallet.

 

“Yeah, thanks Tweek.”

 

I begin my mixture waiting for the inevitable small talks that Kyle seem to love so much. Scooping ice in a cup then into the mixture, then measuring the other ingredients.

 

“So how have you been?”

 

There it is. Kyle, on the other hand, is shifting around. He looked way more nervous than I ever expected from the most overconfident guys in this town. Every once in a while he starts looking a bit lost, out of place even.

 

Make sense his two partners aren’t with him today. I don’t usually see Kyle without Stan. Hell, ever since middle school I haven’t seen him without Wendy.

 

Wendy and Stan had broken up again in our final year at our elementary. And on a dare Cartman gave to Wendy and Kyle that they couldn’t be in relationship with each other throughout their middle school years. Kyle and Wendy being the people they are, took up Cartman’s dare and began dating. It was extremely obvious that they made a good couple.

 

Kyle was indeed a good boyfriend especially when Wendy came out as genderfluid. He found ways to insure that Wendy would always be called by their correct pronouns. Such as the key chain bracelets lockets have either male, female or non-binary on it.

 

Stan, the depressed loner, had broken up with his at the time boyfriend Gary because the mormon family had to move again and was becoming emo...again. As usual Kyle tried to cheer up his best friend while Wendy tried their best to help.

 

Stan finally confess that he was in love with both of them. Wendy never completely grew out of their crush and Kyle admitted he was in love with Stan for the longest time. But Kyle and Wendy fell in love with each other so they didn’t want to break up.

 

Let’s just say that it took two years until all three of them said fuck it and were the polyamorous trio.

 

Back to the matter at hand, I still need to answer Kyle’s stupid small talk.

 

“I’ve been doing decent”

 

My left arm slightly twitches. I have gotten better at that. Yet I am still compelled to do so. His eyes start to dart at my movement whilst I mix the concoction together.

 

“Can’t wait to leave this town, eh.”

 

Kyle huffs out a small laugh. I chuckle along with him. Gliding my hand to carefully pour the drink into a the clear coffee cup.

 

My eyes side glances at Craig, who is unabashingly staring at me, head in his hands. A ghost of a smile had graced his lips. It would be great to leave this town with him. Where I won’t have to worry about South Park’s alien invasion, or underwear gnomes, _or any other stupid fucking thing that happens in this little mountain town._

 

“You have no idea”

 

The bell rings. The door opens to another familiar south park resident. In fact the only goth female that this town's got.

 

Her hair in a black spike ball on the top of her head. Ears littered with earings. And her eyelids drowning in black eyeshadow. While she didn’t lose a lot of weight, she did look a bit healthier. Like she grew into her weight. To be honest, I was glad it was just her and not the others. She’s actually pretty tame and nice once you get to know her.

 

Her ‘ _I could give a less of a fuck_ ’ aura that rivals Craig’s fills the room around her as she murder march into my store. Well, my parent’s store.

 

“Henrietta.”

 

Henrietta side glances at me before making her way over to an empty table. The only empty table mind you. Kyle dejected look confirms that he was wanting to sit there and not with either of the other two men.

 

“Tweek.”

 

She spoke to ensure that she did hear me and wasn’t intechantly ignoring me. Then silence. No one talks for a solid four minutes. Everyone in this store hasn’t said a word even after I hand Kyle his coffee. Their eyes darted to each other in recognonition. Like they were holding a dirty secret or an unsavory situation that had place on all of their shoulders.

 

“Okay, does anyone want to tell me why you all are being so fucking quiet....please?”

 

Craig sighs. His bangs slightly cover a small section of his muscular face. _A shame really._

 

“My family is moving away from South Park. Must of thought that if I fucking leave there wasn’t any point of staying.”

 

I am not really compreheading why this is such a big deal but go off I guess. Still it’s better if I ask. So twitching faintly, I gently face my dumbass other half.

 

“Alright. But that doesn’t affect you as much. So why exactly is that a bad thing?”

 

His demeanor changed. Body sagging as if he remembers a distasteful memory. He does this quite frequently when his parents are fighting or _more specifically_ when he fights with his dad.

 

“My sister has been fighting with my dad about this for at least a week. Ruby may hate this shitty town as much as the rest of us, but she still loves her friends.”

 

Oh that was it. I know Tricia would be heartbroken to leave her friends. She was a strange kid, still one of the more sane ones in South Park.

 

Kyle turns slightly to face Craig. Fingers tapping rhythmically on my counter. _He hasn’t move from his spot since he ordered._

 

“I would offer to have her stay with us, but I doubt that would change a lot seeing as Firkle is also leaving South Park.”

 

Shit, _really_?

 

Playing with her black hoop earring, Henrietta jeered her head towards me.

 

“The little fucker is leaving to a conformist private school in Denver. He already hates it. Even though this sounds like I’m conforming for saying this, I’ll say it anyways. Firkle deserves this friends however conforming most of them are.”

 

Henrietta’s motherly heart was showing, abit weirdly.

 

“Isn’t Denver where you two are going?”

 

There was a glint in Kyle’s eye. An idea was forming, I was sure of it. At least it isn’t Cartman with that glint.

 

My black hair smartass of a boyfriend nonchalantly replied to Kyle.

 

“Yep.”

 

A man of few words to my heart.

 

“I guess, the fact that Karen and I are leaving town doesn’t help either.”

 

Kenny add this new factor that I couldn’t really wrap my head around. His messy blonde hair covered his eyes just a bit. I couldn’t tell if he was sad, happy or just guilty.

 

“Wait. Wait. How many South Park kids are leaving town?”

 

Because that is way to many kids at once that are leaving this town unharmed. Which could be considered a miracle.

 

Craig goes on to start to answer my question. Lifting his palm away from his strong angular jaw. And _wow that was a strange thing to think about._ He lightly gestures to himself.

“Ruby is moving to Detroit, Michigan.”

 

Henrietta chimes in as Craig moves his hand towards her.

 

“Firkle going to Denver.”

 

Then he points in Kenny’s direction.

 

“Karen and I are going anywhere than here, probably to a place with cheap housing and lots of jobs.”

 

After Kenny says that Kyle hums in his statement. His eyes closed like he was in deep thought.

 

“And Ike is staying here. Maybe though...”

 

His head tilts to the side contemplating on something. Eyes opening half way while he just looks at the floor.

 

“Alright, bootylicious, what idea is going through that big brain of yours?”

 

Kenny was grinning his strange ass cheshire grin at Kyle. Ever the flirt. Can’t get himself a partner though, even considering how well of a flirt he was.

 

“I’m not that obvious, am I? Also stopping hitting on me when you know that I am in a very committed relationships.”

 

Kyle pouted his bottom lip as he glared down at Kenny. His arms folded in, holding himself. Leaning on my beautiful pristine counter that I just cleaned _three times._

 

Henrietta looked like she was done with the two of them. I couldn’t agree more, seeing as I literally spend half a day cleaning that goddamn table.

 

“I can feel you forming an idea after I mention that Firkle was leaving to Denver, Kyle, don’t try to change the subject.”

 

The jewish boy’s face was as red as his hair. But he still doesn’t move from his spot.

 

“Hehe, right.”

 

Before he can continue though, Kenny raised an eyebrow and side smirk at Kyle. Elbows on the table leaning his whole body towards him as the back of Kenny’s hands hold his kind of pretty face. Although not as pretty as Craig. _Sue me if you think I’m bias but its the truth._

 

“About that relationship…”

 

At this point, Kyle was getting exasperated at his friend. More annoyed than anything. Sorry Kyle, I rather Kenny not start flirting with me for Craig to punch him in the face.

 

“No, Kenny. Besides you and I both know who you would much rather be with.”

 

Yeah, Kyle was right. There was a clear idea on who truely held Kenny’s heart. But we are now off topic. Luckily I wasn’t the only one who notice. Or at least Craig just wanted them to stop talking about relationship and on to what Kyle is actually thinking.

 

“So, the idea, brains.”

 

“Right so...this private school, by any chance Henrietta, called Denver’s Academy for Young Geniuses?”

 

Henrietta huffed. Her spiked bun bopped from her movement.

 

“Yes. Your point?”

 

Kyle ignored her annoyance. I forgot that these two don’t get along that well. If it wasn’t for Firkle and Ike, I’m pretty sure these two would attempt to hiss at the other.

 

“Well there are two ways you can get in from what I heard. One is to be super rich with your kid having at the very least average IQs. Or… the kid be a super genius.”

 

She raised an eyebrow at him, unimpressed at the moment. Probably ‘cause she already knew this information.

 

“Yeah, and Firkle’s parents are fucking super rich, while Firkle himself is also a goddamn know it all. Your point, conformist?”

 

“Well I don’t like to brag…”

 

Despite saying that, Kyle had a giant shit-eating grin on his face with his hands in the air.

 

“That’s a fucking lie.”

 

Kenny, Henrietta and I nod at Craig’s accusation. It was true.

 

“But!”

 

Kyle had shouted, which made me twitch slightly, before calming down to a peaceful volume.

 

“Ike has always had high intelligence. I can get an adviser from that school and..”

 

Oh, I see where he is going with this! My hands slam towards the table raising me up as Kyle finally leaps away from my counter.

 

“He can get in! Like it would be so easy for him.”

 

Kyle nodded enthusiastically at my statement, proudly I must add. Henrietta murmured in agreement.

 

“Firkle, despite not admitting it, he is into Ike. Or I mean, he is friends with him. Whether the goth boy know it or not.”

 

While Kenny, Kyle, and I were extremely pleased with this news, Craig saw some faults in the redhead’s plans. He always does.

 

“Yeah, but how does that help Tricia and Karen? They are smart. Smarter than majority of South Park’s citizens. But that isn’t saying much. Also McCormick's are fucking poorest family and mine isn’t much better.”

 

Kenny and I nod. He was right of course.

 

“So I’m pretty sure in the part of the city where Tweek and you will be living there’s a middle school and high school near your college.”

 

Kyle was right, we were near a middle and high school annoyingly enough. Too much pressure trying to serve up 8th graders coffee when you know they really don’t need the energy. But I have a feeling I know what the jewish boy was about to say.

 

“Are you suggesting that Tricia comes lives with us?”

 

Kyle hestantly nods.

 

Craig and I share a look with one another. We’ve been together for so long now that reading eachothers faces were easy. The answer between us was as clear as a cloudless day.

 

“Tricia will live with us.”

 

Craigs gruff voice assured Kyle that both of us were okay with having a third person in our house. Yet Kyle looked a bit shocked.

 

“Aren’t you going to ask your parents first?”

 

Kenny chuckled at him. He was doing the terrible lean as far back on just the hind legs of a chair. He knew not to put his feet on the table though. Nobody does that if they want to keep their balls.

 

“Knowing them, if it saves them money, they will be so willing.”

 

Kyle’s eyebrows raised while he’s eyes wided. His hand went straight to his heart. He looked worried that Kenny may have offended Craig.

 

“Kenny! Really!”

 

Craig just shrugged.

 

“He isn’t wrong.”

 

Even though Kenny was correct, I can see Kyle’s point in this.

 

“Still we should ask, not because they’ll say no, but to get the legal documents that says that we are Tricia’s guardians.”

 

Craig grunts in confirmation to my idea. _Thanks honey for your contribution._

 

“And what happens with the other non-conformist? Denver isn’t known for its cheap housing. While the jobs there aren’t the best source of income for those with no higher education and slash or experience.”

 

This seem to stumped Kyle. Had he not thought about Karen?

 

“True…”

 

He didn’t continue. So Henrietta just assumed he didn’t have a plan for Karen, I kinda thought the same thing. What if though...

 

“I don’t want Karen to be left out. Though she wasn’t in our group for very long, she was extremely kind. And she never cussed, such a nonconformist thing to do.”

 

“I-I might have an idea.”

 

As I spoke those words, all eyes landed on me.

 

“Kenny, you have experience with food right?”

 

The blonde boy tilted his head holding a smug ass grin.

 

“Yup. I worked as an employee at City Wok.”

 

I continued with my train of thought.

 

“What days can you work?”

 

“Always...why?”

 

Alright that confirms it.

 

“Great, you’re hired.”

 

“Wait...are you hiring me for your new cafe in Denver?”

 

I nodded affirming his question. Everyone besides me held some disbelief in their eyes. Kenny even furrowed his eyebrows together.

 

“Well, it would be an honor. But there is no way I can rent an apartment in the city of Denver, cheap, without a college student discount. Your pay for employees may be greater than anything I could get there but...I doubt it will be enough.”

 

Here comes part two of my plan.

 

“Y-yes. You would be right about that but…”

 

I pause for a short while trying to think if I really should ask this question. I really should. For Karen and Tricia.

 

“Craig?”

 

“Yeah, honey?”

 

Immediately his body straighten, giving me all his attention. We’ve gotten pretty good at knowing when to listen to the other.

 

“So you know how our new house has like three bedrooms. And well, you know how we didn’t know what to do with the two extra rooms other than storage and a office?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Karen and Tricia can share a room, the one with the bathroom including with it, and Kenny-”

 

I was quickly interrupted by Kenny’s voice.

 

“Will sleep with you two.”

 

Glaring at Kenny, I barked out.

 

“Will sleep in the room farthest from our bedroom, ours being the master bedroom. You can get what was suppose to be the office that neither of us were going to use for actual work.”

 

“~Oh, what were you going to use it for~”

 

His eyebrows wiggled suggestively.

 

“Fuck off, McCormick.”

 

“Why don’t you make-”

 

The goth girl was fed up with Kenny’s branching off topic statement, shuts him off from the rest of that statement.

 

“Alright, you fucking stupid conformists, back on the actual topic.”

 

“Yes, that would be great.”

 

Thank you, Kyle for trying to get me and Craig out of this situation.

 

“The McCormicks can stay with us...as long as they pay rent...well Kenny pay rent, Karen can get in for free.”

 

The orange hooded boy just pouted.

 

“Aww, come on Tweek.”

 

“You’ll be paying in cleaning the house and making sure it stays clean.”

 

I’m not going to just let him off easy.

 

“Can I wear a maid outfit?”

 

Craig side glances at Kenny.

 

“No.”

 

“Okay, it’s decided.”

 

As Kyle says that, he walks out the door. Leaving us to hope his plan works out for the rest of us. And my counter with a smudge.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about my weird uploading schedule. It's usually whenever I have the time to write. Thanks again to the people in the discord chat.


	4. Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fucking two hundred page test for fucking what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again to Mbmadel. She is amazing. She helped inspire me to continue as well as proof read this chapter. I couldn't have done this without her.

**The Broflovski House- Ike Broflovski**

 

My brother is a man of many things. He’s pleasant, unless you’re Cartman. He’s intelligent, but that doesn’t mean anything if you’re Cartman. And he is willing to do anything to help his friends or family, unless of course you’re Cartman.

 

But there is one blemish on my otherwise perfect older brother, he is awful at being sneaky.

 

I had came down the stairs to get a glass of water at around eight in the morning. Which to Kyle’s defence, I most likely wouldn’t wake up this early. Yet also, he is talking (bragging) pretty loudly. Although he is saying it to our mum. She is always needs us to shout in order for her to hear us.

 

I was leaning on the sliver of wall that separates the living room and the kitchen. Squeezing my frame between it and the lamp table. The green base of lamp teeters ever so slightly but doesn’t move farther than that and soon become completely still.

 

“You know how brilliant Ike is!”

 

My eyes close trying to focus on my brothers apparent bragging of me. I can imagine him leaning on the kitchen counter. His hands probably greasing the freshly clean marble, to the dismay of our mom. By his tone alone, I can tell that his mouth is tugging to the left of his face. A small smirk.

 

Our mom, on the other hand, must have her hands on her hips. Her eyes likely half lidded in an unimpress manner. They must have just started this discussion otherwise Kyle would have been able to get her into a more agreeable mood.

 

“Yes, but I don’t like him being so far away.”

 

_ Far away? _ Was Kyle trying to send me somewhere, like back to Canada? Obviously, that would be ridiculous. He was moving with his partners for college, there would be no reason for him to do such a thing. Plus he loves me too much, even if we both don’t admit it out loud.

 

I tilted my head slightly down. My eyes still closed, as I breathe in air while trying to understand my older brothers logic. Or at least make sense of this situation.

 

“You are right mom. He would be far away. I guess it would be better for him to stay here instead of the school that is renowned for their students being doctors or lawyers.”

 

Despite not completely understanding why my brother is doing all this. I did know he was throwing some pretty strong bait for our mother.

 

“Did you say doctors and Lawyers?”

 

As expected, hook line and sinker. I started to make my way quietly to the base of the stairs. Because knowing my brother whenever he needs to reel it in, he becomes exponentially lou-

 

“YES! Around a  _ 98 percent  _ rate of their students becoming either of those! The other TWO PERCENT becomes either  _ successful _ actors or businessmen! Not to mention they get a free ride to any college of their choice in the future.”

 

His smirk got wider, I can feel it from here. I know that he isn’t done, not yet at least.

 

“Look, just let him take the test. If he passes, then he gets into the most pretentious school in this country. And if he doesn’t than he will still stay with you. The staff there are pretty strict with rules so he won’t be a hooligan while staying there.”

 

Her sigh is sweep through the house. She most definitely gave in.

 

“Alright, I will let him take the test.”

 

As I finally reach the top of the stairs, I couldn’t help but wonder what this test is about. Or what Kyle is actually planning.

 

**The Tucker residence - Tricia “Ruby” Tucker**

 

Look I am going to be honest, I was eavesdropping. But you know what, I couldn’t give a flying fuck about what people may think of me. My brother is talking about guardianship. 

 

Here I am wondering what the fuck he wants to be guardian of. His guinea pig? He most definitely already has ownership of him with his boyfriend. It can’t be the house because he is moving the fuck out of here.

 

At first I was thinking it had to be something of importance. My brother usually could give less than a shit about someone listening unless it was one of two things. It was about Tweek or it was something he thinks is emotionally important. Which I guess both are the same to be honest, though Tweek deserves his own option since it is more likely about him.

 

So here I am, at the top of the stairs, peering through the black metal spiral bars to see what my brother is whispering to our father. Stomach down the shaggy brown carpet, holding a pair of binoculars that really doesn’t fucking help with spying on them, in the dim light.

 

The two of them were in what I call ‘Alpha mode’. Which was both of them standing up straight, the only straight thing about Craig, with their arms crossed. Their faces were blanked, no emotion can be seen on either of their faces. If this was a game of...uh...chess or some shit, this would be a stalemate.

 

“So do we have an agreement to let me have guardianship over her?”

 

My brother’s deep voice rang in my ear. Who in the name of the holy son Jesus is he talking about? I watched Craig’s fist clench his arm slightly harder, not removing eye contact with my dad. My red-orange hair was making it harder to see who was winning this suppose glaring contest.

 

Our father whisper something back to him, I barely heard the words coming out of his mouth.

“You two sure you can take care of her? I want a better life for each of you and I can’t help pay for your college if we don’t move.”

 

He says something else, but being as far away, I couldn’t hear it. My brother nodded solemnly. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

 

“I want to do the same for her. This is the best way. I’m sure of it.”

 

I never thought I would see my dads face go soft. Well softer than it was. He just nodded, and grumbled something about he agrees with Craig’s decision. No clue what this is all about. I could only guess. Maybe it's about the car.

 

Seeing as the two shit-heads are finish speaking, I decided to just roll over to the opposite side of where the stair start until I’m out of view.

 

I just wished that I could of overheard who or what they were discussing. Hands pushing the ground as a half effort push up, then I get the fuck up. Stealthing to my room, which I really didn’t need to do. This fucking family don’t give a flying shit. Still the question lingers of what Craig did give a fuck for.

 

It has to be the car, right?

 

**South Park Park - Karen McCormick**

 

I knew this conversation was coming. My brother is going to need our mom’s signature for Kenny to be my sole guardian. It was going to be hard on her. It was already hard on Kenny to tell mom that both her kids want to leave her.

 

My mom has always tried her hardest to make sure me and Kenny had what we wanted. She would make Kenny his outfits. She would sew my dolls back together. But she couldn’t do one thing and that would be to leave my, excuse my language, deadbeat dad behind.

 

Wild blond hair were like curtain to his eyes, never being able to see in his brain. No, that wasn’t right. They were more of a one-way mirror. He can see everyone while we can merely guess.

 

Hands in his lap, as he is sitting on edge of my small barely holding together bed. Breathing in and out, soothingly and calm. My head was against his chest. One of his arms is slightly wrapped around me, as if to hold me. His heartbeat was something I couldn’t quite describe other that irriatic. 

 

I tried to keep my eyes from drooping. Yet I still felt sleep drifting towards, I blacked out with the only image of my mother opening the door to my room, coming inside, and shutting it behind her.

 

I woke up, in a dizzy haze. I turn my head to see my mom and brother in tears holding each other. Red hair covering and mixing with dirty blond. Her voice was hoarse as she tried to whisper her concerns to Kenny.

 

“Please tell me that you have plan this out. You aren’t going to be like your dad, just barely floating by?”

 

Kenny’s free hand reached up to wipe the streak of tears on her face. His face held an aura calm and soothing. He did all he could to ease my mother’s doubts.

 

“Don’t worry about us. I got a job and a nice place to sleep that has cheap rent.”

 

Her mouth opens barely ajar, yet he cut her off with his next words.

 

“Friends own the house, but they are letting us stay if I clean the house. We will be more than fine, okay.”

 

She furiously nodded. Eyes shining in pride and hope, knowing that my brother is a better man than any of the rest in this household combined.

 

My eyes dropped down as I view my brother’s other hand clenched with the paper. It was signed.

 

_ By both of them, Kenny is now my official guardian and my second guardian angel. _

 

**The Broflovski House - Ike Broflovski**

 

A nicely dress man was in our living room, contemplating on whether he should continue to stand or sit on our green couch. He rubs his chin before ultimately deciding to just stick with standing.

 

My brother was also nicely dressed in his black suit and green tie. The rest of my family were on similar attire. Including me. There didn’t seem to be any reason for this other than to impress the apparent adviser of this elite school. Yet I cannot help but wonder why my brother is doing all this effort.

 

I sat at the dining table, hands neatly in my lap. Pose upright like I was more important than I really am or really felt like.

 

Kyle puts on of his hands on my shoulder.

 

“You’ll do fine.”

 

Despite his assurance, which felt more for himself than me, I didn’t know what I’ll do fine on. That is until the advisor came up to the both of us, placing a pile of perfectly stacked paper in front of me.

 

It was a test.

 

“If he manages to get at least one hundred and eighty of the two hundred questions, he may will be allowed to get into the school without paying.”

 

Kyle nods. Handing me a pencil, with eyes that seem to say ‘ _ I know you can do all two hundred easy.’ _ I take a small breath in as I hold the pencil. And begin the test.

 

Question one

 

_ A faucet is turned on and water flows out at a rate of  _

_ v(t) = t^3 - (½)t^2 + 4 _

_ gallons per minute, where t is the number of minutes since the faucet was turned on. To the nearest gallon, how much water flows out of the faucet during the first two minutes the faucet is turned on? _

The answer is ten and two-thirds. But this is calculus. God this is going to be a long test.  

 

**The Next Day**

 

**South Park’s Park- Georgie “Firkle” Smith**

 

“So yeah. I had to do this test, that had algebra and calculus. Sprinkled in English essays. Then included science formulas and chemicals reactions.”

 

Ike mouth moved ever so quickly and fluidly. He could probably talk on days on end and can easily do so for about a hour. Leaning on the side of the slide, still aimlessly chattering to basically the air and Karen. Ruby and I, both of us are on the picnic table...yes on top of, stopped listening to Ike about halfway in as soon as he spoke about doing the rigorous test of some shit.

 

His mouth was kind of interesting, it was smooth without being chapped. The pinkish coloring was highlighted by him wetting his lips after a pause. Before I can delve into this strange observation into Ike’s face, Ruby interrupted him.

 

“Okay, Ike. We get the fucking jist of it. You were forced to do a very hard test. Blah Blah Blah. But I have a bigger problem that has been plaguing my mind. My brother has gotten guardianship over something from my dad, but I don’t fucking know what.”

 

Alright so Craig wants have ownership on an item. Or does he want it over  _ someone _ ? This could be an interesting situation. Ever so ahead of me, Ike has came to a similar conclusion. In fact he seems to have figured out a bit more knowledge than I could gather.

 

“I don’t really know what he might want, Ruby. I’m sure if you just ask him, he’ll tell you.”

 

The warm smile that graced upon Karen’s face was a godly sight. Something we really needed. It will be one of the things I’ll miss about her. Her eyes turn soft as she tells us a fucking important information, at least to her.

 

“Kenny has gotten permission from my parents that he is the sole guardian over me. And well, he says he found a job and a house out of town already.”

 

Shit, does that mean she’ll be leaving already. I don’t fucking think I’m ready for that. How did he manage to do so that fast?

 

“So how did the conformist get a job and an apartment?”

 

Might as well be blunt. I do not do the whole eavesdropping, either they fucking tell me or I’ll force them to fucking tell me. Karen face contorted ever so slightly into a thinking face before she brighten up.

 

“Oh my brother said something about friends. So maybe we’ll be living with Stan, Kyle, and Wendyl?”

 

I came with conclusion after Ike did, of fucking course. Two people need to have guardianship over something (someone). An elite school that takes in the smartest of students with a dorm room included. And friends that could provide a house with a job possibly involved. They weren’t being subtle. If they were they are shitty at it.

 

“Alright you smart fucks. What the hell did you figure out? Don’t be coy, I can see the ‘I _ know something you don’t know _ ’ look on your fucking face.”

 

Ike did his award winning grinned, teeth glistening as he pushed his black hair back.

 

“I don’t want to assume to get us hype up for the wrong reason. But I think we will get our problems fixed tomorrow. After I get the results.”

 

I guess I’ll have to wait to see what the results of their labor really did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys. See you in the next couple of months as I try to finish the next chapter. ( Or maybe it will be sooner since I have the next three chapters outlined.) Edit: So I added in more dialogue to make it seem like Mr. Tucker isn't a butthead and just has a hard time showing he cares


	5. The Results

**The Broflovski House- Ike Broflovski**

 

“Okay so don’t get your hopes up. Even if it’s not what you were expecting and you didn’t manage to get a ninety percent on this test, you’ll always be my smartass baby brother. The same brother who is leagues above everyone else. Okay? Okay. Here we go.”

My brother was blathering more to himself than to me. His hands were kind of shaking in a way. With the letter knife in his hand, he starts to open the letter.

His eyes scan the page. Each flickering movement of his eyes made his mouth morph into a grin, growing ever so bigger. Once he seem to reach the end of the page, he dropped it. He drop the stupid paper.

He ran toward me. Pause for just a second. Then wrapped his arms around me. I was forcible swished around like a brand new teddy bear in an excited child’s hands.

“You did it! You made it in. I knew you can do it.”

He was squealing, obviously joyous about my accomplishment. My only concern, and to be frank thought, was if my assumption was correct about why I had to take this test.

“This school...it wouldn’t happen to be in Denver?”

Kyle dropped me. He was flushed, and somewhat embarrassed. Only the movement of his head was enough to confirm my question. I was going to school with Firkle.

Fuck you, Filmore. I am no longer going to see your sorry ass.

This leads me to wonder though. How is he going to bring Karen to Denver?

 

**Tweek Bros coffee- Tricia “Ruby” Tucker**

 

I was sat down by my brother and his boyfriend. The both of them were kind of nervous. It’s not often Craig shows any kind of emotions so frequently. This past couple days, actually week, has him exploding with emotions. Well at least as much as a Tucker could.

“O-okay. So how should we explain this?”

Tweek’s blond head move towards my brother. The slight stutter in his voice was there, almost not noticeably. The two of them on our loveseat, Craig on Tweek’s right. Which is my left from the chair I’m sitting on to face them.

Tweek’s hands start picking on his sleeve of his green sweatshirt. It was a bit ragged at the edges because of his constant tugging. Yet he looks better than when he was ten, seeing as his shirt doesn’t need to be button correctly. Craig found that sweaters were easier than a polo for Tweek _. (And also probably easier for him to take off.)_ His hair had a green clip to keep his bangs out of his face. He looked cute.

My brother also notice his boyfriends distress, and lightly took a hold of his hand. Giving the softest fucking squeeze to Tweek’s hand. His attention pulled back towards me, once Tweek had finish his very tiny panic.

“You have two choices. You move to Michigan or you come with me and Tweek. Pick one.”

There was no warning. I didn’t expect this, to be honest. On one hand I’ll move to Michigan. The other I go to Denver and stay somewhat close with Firkle. Even if it’s only one friend, that’s more than none.

“What’s the catch?”

The two of them looked nervously at each other. Well Tweek was. My brother was just gazing adoringly to his boyfriend. Craig leaned over and kissed Tweek’s cheek. How disgustingly romantic.

“Well you’ll have to share a room?”

Tweek’s statement sounded kind of like a question. Other parts of it sounded as if he was nervous about it. It was a little off. From my knowledge the house had three bedrooms. My brother isn’t that chaste to not stay in the same bed as his partner. I’ve heard them before. They are terrible at being quiet.

“With whom?”

Craig had on this smug fucking look on his face as soon as I said that. Tweek was also giggling, barely containing the excitement he most certainly had. He reached over to the left and grabbed his mug from the table. Sipping it ever so often.

“Who the fuck would I’d be sharing a room with, you assholes?”

Craig brushed his hair back with one hand, then lean his entire top of his body towards me.

“Ever heard of Karen McCormick?”

These two fuckers were playing with me. There was no way. No how, that they manage to...oh so this is where Karen’s brother is working. Wait he isn’t like my brother and Tweek’s sugar baby?

“Ok. Does this mean Kenny is your sugar baby or something. Because I know dad can handle the gayness that Tweek gives off; I don’t think he can handle Kenny into the mix.”

Tweek also choked on his drink. Craig’s face is was a well blended mix of disgust and absolute terror. So no, Kenny was not going to be entering a relationship with either of them.

“Never mind. He isn’t. I’m sorry for even thinking that. So is he working by cleaning the house or something?”

Tweek calmed down faster than Craig did. Which to be honest was a surprise. He gently put the cup down before he face me again.

“Yes he is going to be cleaning the house but he is also working at my new coffee shop.”

Oh that makes so much more sense. Wait so this means me, Karen, and Firkle are going to be staying (near) each other. I won’t have to make new dumb friends. This is fucking incredible.

“So...Ruby, your answer.”

“Hell fucking yes, I’ll stay with you guys!”

I jumped to my feet than rushed at them. My arms trying (and failing) to wrap around them in a hug. They wrapped one arm each to me as well.

This was going to be fucking amazing. I just hate the fact that we’ll be leaving Ike.

 

**The McCormick House- Karen McCormick**

 

My brother and I were at a restaurant, which to be honest wasn’t a normal thing. It was usually an odd day when my brother decides that the both of us should go somewhere special. He must be pretty confident that his new job won’t fire him immediately if he was doing this.

I was wearing my best dress, it was a hand me down from Wendyl. They were always so nice to lending or giving me their old clothes. They always seem to have a way to convince my brother that it isn’t some kind of charity and that it just doesn’t fit them anymore so why not give it to someone who would appreciate it more.

So here I am, in my best dress, watching my brother looking sheepishly at his menu. There are moments I can also see him peek up at me. It wasn’t so often that I would immediately start to think something terrible is going to happen. But it wasn’t good.

“Is everything okay, Kenny?”

His eyes flicker over to me again, he pulled on his collar.

“Yeah Karen, everything is good. I’m just nervous.”

‘Nervous about what’ I wondered. Kenny was my hero. My idol. If he had anything to say to me, I would never think less of him. Despite wanting to say something, I kept my mouth shut. I was going to wait until he feels ready to tell me.

After a couple of minutes we order a meal, which the both of us order the cheapest items on the menu, then wait. We make small talk. Kenny talking about whatever weird shenanigans, he and his friends did. While I talk about my friends. It was overall nice.

Soon enough the food came. And we begin to eat.

“Okay, so I guess it’s basically now or never to tell you about the new house.”

His hand went to the back of his head. I just smiled knowing that living arrangements must be made. The place he gotten must either be very small or require roommates.

“I’m guessing I’ll either be sharing a room with you or a roommate?”

I said in my most ‘I don’t mind’ voice I could muster. Kenny’s lip twitch upward.

“Yes to the latter. You’ll have to share a room Kare bear.”

He takes another bite out of his meal before continuing.

“I hope you don’t mind sharing a room with Tricia.”

There was a pregnant pause.

“Tricia as in Tricia Tucker?”

My eyes go wide as I wait for my brother’s answer. He frustratingly enough kept me in waiting as he took several bites of his food. Before he just drops,

“Yup.”

And with that my jaw drops open. Very soon I realize what my brother was planning. Unthinkingly, I try to basically climb over the table to give my brother a hug. In doing so I smeared the food on my nice dress. My brother then got out of his seat to give me a proper hug.

The news was worth the stain. I almost can’t wait to tell my friends.

 

**South Park’s Park- Georgie “Firkle” Smith**

I wouldn’t say our group is in sync with each other. Most of the time our thought process couldn’t be more far apart. All in all we are a strange group. Which confused the fuck out of me when all three of my dumbass friends texted at the same time. With the same, well more like similar, message.

**Jock Conformist Dumbass:** _Guys, I have some big news_

**MiddleFinger Conformist Dumbass:** _Hey fuckers, I hav somthing to tell u_

**Pure Lady (Dumbass):** _Omg, I have some great news_

**MiddleFinger Conformist Dumbass:** _Wait u 2 Ike? WTF_

**Jock Conformist Dumbass:** _Yes me too! Rupee wat did u expect_

**MiddleFinger Conformist Dumbass:** _Dont fckng cal me that_

**Jock Conformist Dumbass:** _Aww, come on Rupee!_

The four of us decided to meet at the park like always to talk about this so call news. Each of my dumbass group were excited to talk. For what ever fucking reason.

“Okay so...you know how Rupee said that Firkle and I had that look?” Ike blurted out with a stupid fucking grin on his face. He was met with two yeahs and a ‘don’t fucking call me rupee.’

“So I definitely know why.”

Before he could finish, Ruby jumped in. “Yeah, I’m going to live with my brother and his boyfriend with Karen.”

Huh, so I was right. I glance at Ike, expecting a smug look and he was before she mention Karen. Then he looked fucking stupid. Well at least, he seem like he was shocked. Ike mumbled a, “So that’s how she’s connected…”

Karen just nodded at Ruby. “Yeah! I guess they told you already. Are you okay with me sharing a room with you since my brother is having his own room?” Karen spoke with a bit of hesitance at her own question.

Fortunately it ended well as Ruby just said, “Yeah it will be fun like a sleepover every night.”

“So, I guess this means I won’t have to lose you guys after all and be stuck with Filmore.”

He was then met with two huhs. And I just rolled my eyes in agreement. But for the girls he pulled out an envelope. Then pulled out the letter from the envelope. In big bold letters, all of us saw clearly.

**_Congratulations Ike Broflovski,_ **

**_You have achieved a marvelous score of 104 on the application test. We are looking forward to you starting school here at Denver’s Academy for Young Geniuses._ **

And just like that our group was fucking super glued by the older conformists. Shit it was nice knowing that these fucking dumbasses were going to hell with me.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**South Park Two Weeks Later- Georgie “Firkle” Smith**

As Ike and I headed on our bus to the academy, we spot Filmore. Not even a second later, Ike screamed out so loudly I fucking swear the entire town of South Park could hear him.

“GOODBYE YOU MOTHER FUCKING DUMBASS!”

My eardrums were still ringing as we separated to different tour guides.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my friends at the Semantically Challenged Discord. If you haven't read Semantically Challenge, you should. Very good read and they upload often.


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